Using Our Eye Contact Skillfully

As an element of nonverbal communication, eye contact plays a vital role in our daily conversation. It sends across messages to the people whom we are talking to.

As Nicholas Boothman puts it “the cheapest, most effective way to connect with others is to look them in the eye”.

During our journey to improve our communication skills, often evaluators remind us to pay attention to eye contact. This feedback should be taken seriously rather than brushed aside and viewed as a mere opinion.

It is such an importance that in our quest to be competent communicators, we should be mindful of our eye contact as it provides social information to the person whom we listen and talk.

Undoubtedly eyes are not only the window to the soul; they furnish feedback to critical questions when you try to connect. For instance they can provide answers to questions such as, is he paying attention to what I am saying? Does he like me? etc.

However, as a process eye contact is a bit tricky. For instance if you use intensive eye contact, you will be viewed as aggressive and will make your partner uncomfortable.

On the other hand, less eye contact reveals a lack of interest in the person who talks to you. It could even reflect shyness or lack of confidence of the speaker because he/she tends to look downward or away during conversation.

In order to improve our eye contact, in my opinion the following may benefit us:

      Be well prepared and know your speech to avoid devoting your energy to remember the sequence of ideas and words. Your projection must be focused on the audience.

      Establish a bond with your audience.  This can be done by selecting one person and talk to him or her personally. You should hold that person’s eyes long enough to establish a visual bond.

      Monitor visual feedback from your audience. You should let your eyes to seek their valuable feedback. This will enable you to gauge their response and adjust accordingly.

Let us remember that eye contact is a very important people skill. It should be viewed as a process of focusing the eyes, thoughts and presence. Besides it establishes connection, enable the self to gain confidence, allow buying time when you have lost the chain of thoughts as well as to keep control.  Maintaining a good eye contact is a mode of capturing your audience and keeping them at ease. Therefore let us use our eye contact skillfully.