Anger One Letter Shy to Danger

Of late his irritation became noticeable. My friend Hilal is not the same person we all know. His smile faded away. It seems that he formed a habit of getting irritated for the slightest thing. The minute you construct a dialogue with him, he erupts with anger like a volcano. All you could see is his frowning face as if you are confronted by a hungry tiger. On the other hand, all you could hear is shouting, screaming, threatening and intimidation as if you are listening to a thunderstorm roaring in the sky, shaking you from within.

Such an angry attitude is not limited to him. Anger as a phenomena seems to be plaguing our society yet we all fail to realize that anger is one letter shy to danger.

As an emotion, anger could be a mild irritation or an intense fury and rage. Once it gets out of hand it can cost you your job, personal relationships, and your life as well.

We can actually extract vivid examples of anger from our personal notes.  If we walk down our memories we can recall images of angry people.  Images of Friends or relatives who were cursing and back answering each other rudely will be crystal clear before us.  In some cases the scene got dramatized and ended up with fist fighting and physical abuse.

Let us take a moment and imagine ourselves driving. The road is so congested. Tension is swarming all over the place. Drivers are honking loudly with anger. In between, so many gestures are exhibited. The hand movements indicate hostile intentions. The eye contact is so focused with irritation. Facial expression speaks louder than words. In a blink of an eye the road witnesses a battle after another. Some battles are packaged with stubbornness. Some drivers challenge each other recklessly. Each one doesn’t want the other to bypass him as if they own the road. The situation gets so boiled to a point of no return. Such an angry attitude does not lead to anywhere. As a kiss of death it leads to a tragic accident rendering them paralyzed or wrapped in their coffin. Such a sorry ending leaves behind a deep scar in the hearts of their relatives and love ones who will be bitterly grieving their early departure for ever.

 The work place is another venue for angry situations. You could see a boss yelling at his subordinate for a simple reason. Other staff could be staring at him with dismay or even listening to his vulgar and intimidating language. What message is he sending to them as a leader? Does his behavior reflect that his organization committed to its people? Was his feedback to motivate or de-motivate his subordinate? What would he loose if he or she was sensitive toward their staff and gave them a constructive feedback? What trust exist among such a team?

In order to reinforce the despicable impact of anger you can stretch your imagination to angry situations at home or even our reaction while dealing with our kids. You can visualize how horrible anger could get when you ask yourselves how many families were shattered due to a hasty swing of anger?

So what are some contributing factors for anger. Well actually anger could be caused by a specific person, memories of traumatic or enraging events as well as  worrying about your personal problems.   

Charles Spielberger a psychologist specialized in the study of anger reveals that when you get angry, your heart rate, blood pressure, levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and nor-adrenaline go up. As a matter of fact, anger many ailments that could affect our health negatively. It could lead to hypertension, high blood pressure, depression. It can even be the root cause of heart attack.

Have we asked ourselves what is the end result of anger. Whenever I remember the story of Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) stressing the need to refrain from anger to the person who came seeking his advice, the thought provoking story illustrates the magnitude of the calamity that anger brings about. Although the man was advised to refrain from anger in the first request, to his dismay when he repeated his request for an advice again and again avoiding anger was an automatic and spontaneous feedback. The same recommendation was repeated for the second and third times.

The negative impact of anger leaves no doubt that we should not respond to those who irritate us with anger. Laws, social norms, and common sense restrict us from such reaction. Therefore, it is better that to control our anger before it turns to danger. To effectively manage our anger we can resort to the following tips:

·      Do some physical exercise as a release i.e walking, get on a bike or other sport. This will help alleviate our stress level.

·      Listen to music to relax our mind and calm you down.

·      Try the soothing power of water (take a shower, swim or simply splash your hands in a basin with cool water.

·      Resort to Prayer to bring about solace and tranquility.

·      Take a few minutes to meditate.

·      Count to ten and then take a deep breath as if you are cleansing your system.

·      Keep an anger journal or diary so that you can note down your angry moments and construct an inner conversation with yourself to explore other options.

·      Talk to someone you trust after all two brains are better than one.

·      Use humor for laughter can immediately change the way you feel.

Let us keep in mind that life is a gift that ought to be celebrated. Sharing a quality time with the family or enjoying a laughter is far better than getting ourselves worked out for silly things.

Let us pay attention to honing our emotional and social intelligence so that we can be in a better position to manager our angry situations effectively. Anger as a behavior cannot be eliminated hundred percent but being able to address it in a positive manner will always be signified as an act of wisdom. At the end of the day holding on to anger is like grabbing a hot coal. With the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. So why do you want to get burned when you know that you have other options.