Using Our Eye Contact Skillfully

As an element of nonverbal communication, eye contact plays a vital role in our daily conversation. It sends across messages to the people whom we are talking to.

As Nicholas Boothman puts it “the cheapest, most effective way to connect with others is to look them in the eye”.

During our journey to improve our communication skills, often evaluators remind us to pay attention to eye contact. This feedback should be taken seriously rather than brushed aside and viewed as a mere opinion.

It is such an importance that in our quest to be competent communicators, we should be mindful of our eye contact as it provides social information to the person whom we listen and talk.

Undoubtedly eyes are not only the window to the soul; they furnish feedback to critical questions when you try to connect. For instance they can provide answers to questions such as, is he paying attention to what I am saying? Does he like me? etc.

However, as a process eye contact is a bit tricky. For instance if you use intensive eye contact, you will be viewed as aggressive and will make your partner uncomfortable.

On the other hand, less eye contact reveals a lack of interest in the person who talks to you. It could even reflect shyness or lack of confidence of the speaker because he/she tends to look downward or away during conversation.

In order to improve our eye contact, in my opinion the following may benefit us:

      Be well prepared and know your speech to avoid devoting your energy to remember the sequence of ideas and words. Your projection must be focused on the audience.

      Establish a bond with your audience.  This can be done by selecting one person and talk to him or her personally. You should hold that person’s eyes long enough to establish a visual bond.

      Monitor visual feedback from your audience. You should let your eyes to seek their valuable feedback. This will enable you to gauge their response and adjust accordingly.

Let us remember that eye contact is a very important people skill. It should be viewed as a process of focusing the eyes, thoughts and presence. Besides it establishes connection, enable the self to gain confidence, allow buying time when you have lost the chain of thoughts as well as to keep control.  Maintaining a good eye contact is a mode of capturing your audience and keeping them at ease. Therefore let us use our eye contact skillfully.

Overcoming The Tomorrow Syndrome

Whenever you try to ask him to do certain task, Ali’s readymade answer is disappointing. He calmly nodes his head in agreement and assures you that he will do it tomorrow. You give yourself the liberty to exclaim why does it have to wait until tomorrow? How come he cannot adopt a do now attitude?

Tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year are nothing but lame excuses for Ali’s inculcated procrastination habit.

Such vice is not limited to Ali. It is a behavior we come across so often in our daily life. How many times did you defer an issue hoping that you will tackle it tomorrow?

How many times did you promise your wife, kids, boss, friends or colleagues that you will do a particular thing for them but you kept putting it in the back burner?

Tomorrow and tomorrow but has your tomorrow become a tangible reality?

You go to the doctor and he or she diagnoses you as a case of procrastination syndrome!

What exactly is procrastination? What causes it?  What are the associated problems with procrastination?  And how can we overcome it? 

The word itself comes from the Latin word procrastinatus: pro- (forward) and crastinus (of tomorrow).  It is the deferment or putting-off   an action which requires immediate attention, usually by focusing on some other distraction.

As a sign of weakness procrastination could be attributed to various factors such as stress, being  overwhelmed, Laziness ,Lack of Motivation ,Lack of Discipline Poor Time Management habits, Lack of Skill as well as Perfectionism .

No matter what the root cause for developing such a bad habit we all need to exhibit a true intention to overcome such a hurdle. Unless we take such an initiative its negative impact on our performance will remain unchanged.

But how can we overcome the tendency for Procrastination? Of course effective Time management will do the trick.  As simple as it might sound, this refers to a range of skills, tools, and techniques used to manage time when accomplishing specific tasks, projects and goals. Among these skills that will lead us to master the art of managing our time are the following:

•             planning,

•             allocating,

•             setting goals,

•             delegation,

•             analysis of time spent,

•             monitoring,

•             organizing,

•             scheduling

•             and prioritizing.

Utilizing this prescription will yield the desired result but it will require true intention, discipline and a lot of patience after all Rome was not made in one day. Remember, nurturing   the habit of procrastination will not take you   forward.  It will only add to your frustration and that of the people around you. Please don’t forget procrastination is the thief of time. Don’t let your time get stolen from you.  Let us not live in the past but act in the present.

Looking forward for your contribution on shedding lights on the issue of procrastination and how it has affected your life and what initiatives have you taken to overcome the  tomorrow syndrome.